Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Cut Throat Fear

A dream that I had ...

I felt like I was in some South American country.

In my dream I was waiting across one side of the road, where on the other side appeared a girl who seemed to be finishing work perhaps and was about to wait for the bus. I watched as two boys approached her thinking that they too would be waiting for the same bus yet in complete shock I watched as they cut her throat and robbed this girl. I was so scared that I dared not even approach, fearing that if I did I would lose my life also, as I assumed that their was no hope for her and that she would almost certainly be dead anyway.

Even when the boys had robbed her and left I was too afraid to approach. I was overcome by fear and went into a state of denial. I had visions within my dream of being safe within a prison or some kind of mental home or old folks home. I could see how it could feel safe being within confined walls that would keep all the 'evil' out, but that itself felt isolated and insane.

I was later taken back to the spot near the bus stop where I had summoned enough courage to move closer to see if the body was still there and see if anyone else had found it. As I approached closer I began to see the victim who was being helped up by a gang of youths and helped into the nearest garage where she could seek attendance from the people there. She had blood all down her throat but she was walking and alive. I approached the gang of youths and I wanted to explain to them that I saw everything but I was overcome with grief and sobbed out my words. The boy whom I was focusing on who appeared to be the leader of the gang was quite a tough and angry boy. He appeared to have little sympathy for me and I could see that he was quite angry. I felt that it was because of the injustice that had occurred and he did not sympathize with me being afraid and cowardly.

Meaning ...

Cutting of Throat, what does this mean? Throat is one of the most sensitive parts of the body. What chakra is the throat related to and what meaning does it have?

Fear, what is the fear that I felt? What does this mean?

Vision of safety within the prison. That seems to speak for itself.

[01/may/2010] Appended ...

I found out some interesting information on the 5th Chakra, Vishudda Chakra:

The presiding deity is Panchavaktra Shiva.

Element: Ether (Akasha)
Shape: Crescent
Plane: Human plane
Sense: Hearing
Sense Organ: Ears
Work Organ: Mouth (vocal cords)
Name: Pure
Location: Behind the throat
Sound: Hang
Nb of petals: 16

He has a camphor-blue skin and five heads, representing the spectrum of smell, taste, sight, touch and sound, as well as the union of all five elements in their purest forms. He holds a mala (rosary), a drum which drones continually, manifesting the sound AUM, and a trident. The fourth hand is in Abhaya mudra, the gesture of dispelling fear.

The energy is Shakini. She has a pale rose skin and wears a sky-blue sari with a green bodice. She sits on a pink lotus and holds the following objects:

  • a skull, which is a symbol of detachment from the illusory world of sense perceptions
  • an ankusha
  • an elephant staff used to control Gaja
  • the scriptures, representing knowledge
  • the mala (rosary)

Shakini Shakti is the bestower of all higher knowledge and siddhis (powers).

The chakra's associated animal is the elephant Gaja, supreme lord of herbivorous animals. It is of smoky grey color, the color of clouds. (Could this be related with the dream of elephants that I had?)

It seems also that the throat chakra represents communication and self expression. The ability to communicate our needs and requirements or the ability to speak and be heard.

Could it be that I fear to communicate my needs? Or perhaps soon I will be challenged to articulate my needs and show my vulnerabilities, but that could lead me to an awakening.


I've been invited to go down to South America, with a sweet and beautiful girl. I don't know what to make of it. I feel vulnerable to put myself in this position. What if I fall in Love? I feel the fear and I respect that fear. I respect it because I respect the power that love has to bring such happiness but also the power it has to take me down to my knees.

I feel like I need love, but I'm afraid of love.

I'm realising also that I've been gifted with dreams, visions and intuition. These are blessings to me, and when I give these blessings my attention, they serve me ... and they give me a sense of 'self love'. When I've 'fallen' in love in the past it feels like my ability to respond to these gifts has been more difficult and hence it would be wise for me to always be attentive to these gifts and respond to them truthfully, for they are what ultimately will serve to fulfill me.

It seems that my heart always has the power to shake off it's scars and shine again. I think though that it does so each time more sensitive and aware of not only it's vulnerabilities but also it's amazing capacity to hold so much.

Some interesting related material:

Acclaimed author Barry Lopez joins Bill Moyers to discuss nature, spirit and the human condition.

This is an amazing and beautiful interview. I felt such a heart connection with this man by listening to his words of sincerity and truthfulness. Touches so much on what I've been writing about here.


Kahlil Gibran on Love:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.


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