Monday 3 September 2018

The Monster and The Old Man

I had a dream last night.

A large Frankenstein creature was hanging over me. I caught a vision of a girl over to the side, with her back to me. She had blonde hair and a plat running up the back of her head. I imagined her to be a beautiful princess.

Somehow, this monster was about to marry the young 'princess', and knowing this it sent a surge of fear or resistance and I cried out in my sleep 'You will not marry her, you fucking bastard', or words to that effect.

I don't know where he went as I almost stumbled into semi waking state (by the act of me shouting out in my sleep) but when I got back the figure had changed. I was now speaking with an elderly man, still very large, but somehow pitiful, impotent. Potentially all the things that I find sad and pityful about myself.

The monster and the old man ... maybe these are my demons. The monster inside me, and the old man that never achieved his dreams.

Later that day we had to bury Bunda (short for Abundancia), 'our' resident wild bitch. It was horrible. We found her dead, on the side of the track.

I smoked a fat one and went down to wash myself at the tank. I asked The Father of Creation to wash me of my sins, wash out all the negativity. As I washed myself, the image came to me of the big Frankenstein monster that appeared in my dream last night, and in my imagination, I hugged him, and loved him, honoured him. This image brought me peace.

Perhaps this is a practice, of invitation.

So now,
I invite the old man,
to appear within me,
or without me,
and help me find
true abundance.

.