Humbled

What do these moments mean? When life brings me to my knees?

Is it my own blind deception that leads me down this road of suffering?

Or is it the Great Spirit, trying to show me something, and me too afraid to look at it? and so I wander, with my eyes closed, until finally I stumble and fall to my knees again?

What is His Will?

What does He want from me?

Does He not want what I want? Are we not the same?

He whispers to me, telling me that what I want, I cannot have and that I can only have everything I want when I've truly accepted everything that I already have.

To not accept everything that I have is to not be grateful for what I have.

And how can I be gracious, how can grace fall upon me, if I am not grateful and with an open heart?

If I do not recognise the fortune that I have then how can I be lucky?

.