Political Revelation

I had a revelation today as I was walking to the chapel,

The chapel of Saint Gabriel.

Who shares the same name as my father.

I have had many thoughts arise,
about possible resistance and what I would confront,
when face to face,
with the father
of the chapel.

I felt that I was in need of courage
to speak honestly,
of what concerns me.

I partook in the herb of the holy sacrament prior to visiting the chapel. There may be some that argue that this is avoidance and escape, if so then one must also recognise the effect it has, for if it gives courage, or rather 'encourages' me, to speak honestly, then what can be said of this plant's true value?

So on my journey, my revelation came to me.
It was about finding a new and safe space that allowed me to 'rest' in a deep conviction.
A conviction in something unbreakable and incorruptible.
The truth.
I wanted to speak my heart
In clear words (with clarity).
To express to him, my need: to see Nature (God) respected.
(There is someone disrespecting the chapel grounds)

Also, I wanted to recognise him, get to know him.
For he is my neighbour.
... and I wonder, how does the father of a chapel of a small village see the world?

From the blue, these are the words that came to me ...

---

If one expresses there intention honestly [from the heart] then the truth will reveal itself.

If one attempts to influence the outcome
through the use of politics (politeness),
then false appearances will soon become apparent
[and the loss of dignity will occur].

There must be a willingness and a courage to communicate honestly
[knowing that this will lead to a higher truth.]

---

From where I stand,
It is the only path that I can see,
for it is the only path that is revealed to me.

Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels [intentions] of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.

And yesterday I saw these these writings on my wall (my facebook wall) ...

The truth is like a lion.
You don't have to defend it.
Let it loose.
It will defend itself.
- Saint Augustine.

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Poverty and Alonenes

Since having started my journey,
pursuing my dream,
and having realised a grand part of it ...

The materialisation of MY peace of land.

... I now, in this moment, find myself in the midst of poverty and aloneness.
Feeling alone, and with no money.
A feeling of 'stuckness' and limitation I feel right now.

It makes me wonder if this is what poverty feels like for those who have been born into the poorest of environments? However, myself, I still feel lucky (fortunate) because I am accompanied and guided by my vision. It is that which keeps me fresh, alive, nourishes me to accept all things that come and carry on regardless of the limitations that present themselves during the course of my journey.

I must admit however that these feelings appear to me like road blocks on the path that lead me to fully realising this vision and when this happens I experience confusion and 'stuckness'. What are of these feelings? What do they mean? Perhaps it is just a problem of not being able to accept these moments and know that they will pass. When I have moments of strife I have questions arise of 'Who am I?' and 'What am I doing here?'. I am reminded of what I'm doing here by the signs that have appeared on my path, that seem to confirm that I'm doing OK and on the right way. As for the question of who I am. This I cannot answer. For when I give an answer it seems that it is never completely true. Perhaps this question can never be answered, or perhaps it is best to just remain silent.

This feeling of poverty and aloneness. Feeling poor and alone.

In one sense, I am in a deep dark whole. A chasm in my mind.

And in another sense, I am fortunate, not only because of the vision that guides me, but also because I feel a great fortune lies at my doorstep. I am at the door of a special opportunity. An opportunity in which most importantly I can ask myself quite whole heartedly what are these chains that bind me? and how can I rid myself of these shackles? What is this abyss I fall into at times, this deep black hole that forms part of my whole?

I smoke some ganja. The pressure of the shackles are eased, but I know that soon they will reappear again. They will not have disappeared, and will most likely not disappear until I have transcended this 'scenario'. Perhaps I am fortunate to have it at hand so that I can temporally transcend these moments, have space to write about it and later reflect on it again.

I believe that what I'm facing is an opportunity to transform aloneness and poverty.

And NOW I am reminded of the line I read earlier today from Osho:

"To be alone is the only real revolution. To accept that you are alone is the greatest transformation that can happen to you."

Another sign along the path.

Why has my dream brought me here I ask?

Perhaps what this means is that my dream cannot be realised until I have become one and alone.

In union I shall find communion.

In unity I shall find community.

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Father Rest in Peace

Let it all go, the fears. Let it all be as it is. For this day is chosen, for him, and for you.
He did not live the life he dreamed.
He lost himself in a sea of troubles,
after the death of his beloved.
And so for my father,
I live the dream, my dream, and his own dream of which was broken,
by his own sadness and despair.
Today I cry for this beautiful man, who’s purity of heart is the only thing that remains.
May the image of my father rest in peace within me.
And may it carry me wisely on my way.

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Rejoining Hands

As I picture the easing
of the passing away
of my father.

The end of suffering.

I see in front of me
the symbol of eternity.

A couple holding hands,
walking along in the park.

As they approach a tree,
they're hands become free.

and rejoin again once passed.

So now I see
the image of my father
finally rejoining hands with my mother
and setting off,
on another journey.

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Visions and Hope

The enlightened masters say to give up all hope.
For it is the only way that I will find peace.

Yet it is the vision of what may be that keeps me alive.
If it were not for this, then surely I would surrender to the urge that always seems to emerge, to let go, disappear, and die.

'For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?'

What relation do my visions have to do with the urge to let go into nothingness? Are they in opposition, or are they one?

Is there an answer to this, and if so, can it be spoken?

Perhaps only wise men ask these questions and only fools would attempt to answer them.

Perhaps surrender,
to all that is,
as it is,
is the only answer.

Not for the weak of heart.

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The inescapable

There is no escape from the woes of the world.
Just like this presence within me, that seeks me.
Calling me to connect, acknowledge and witness.

Without I see troubles and woes.
Within I see light.

Without I see corruption from behind bars that hold me captive.
Within I see a path, leading over a rainbow bridge, towards a land of endless possibilities.

From without comes fury.
From within comes a guiding light.

I use this fury
to fuel me
towards my choiceless
and inescapable
destiny.

.

Sin is only confusion.

Looking back,
I gazed into the mirror of my mind
that reflected to me my history.

In this reflection of history I dived,
and not too far down,
it was apparent to see,
that true suffering only came,
when I was confused and had lost what IS ME.

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